Okay but ponderous hard-rock band on their own, but their legacy is tainted thanks to what they spawned: the entire odious heavy meatball genre.
9. Bob Seger
Truck commercial jingle composer, sub-Springsteen, even sub-Mellencamp.
Decent prog-rockers de-evolve into tedious popsters.
7. Green Day
Initially adorable, singing their little pop-punk songs about masturbation, but grew more tedious in proportion with their sonic-thematic ambition (The anti-Who, in other words).
6. Hall and Oates
Lukewarm Philly pop-duo rides post-career nostalgia wave to unaccountable success. Re-assessed way too far upward. The Ishtar of '80s hit-makers.
5. Guns N Roses
The last gasp of cock-rock, died with hair metal at the bloody hands of Kurt Cobain and his suicidal hooky hard-Pixies-ism. Fuck all their progenitors too, especially Aerosmith.
4. The Eagles
Fuck. The. Fucking. Eagles. Fuck. Don. Henley. Fuck. Hotel. California. I've got your peaceful easy feeling right here.
Rock music for people who think rock music can be philosophical. In other words, idiots.
Nickelback and Matchbox 20 now have hope of one day being respected. The go-to band for filmmakers seeking cheaply ironic "uplift."
1. Billy Joel
I wish he would drunkenly crash his car again, and die this time.